Surprise: I am not alone!

Not too long ago, I figured that my beliefs on healthy eating and cooking homemade meals were shared by only few people. Sure, we all have the desire to eat healthy, but it truly is hard to dedicate the time and effort that goes into planning meals and later on fixing them. My simple ways of thinking have been opened by talking to friends, acquaintances and of course, reading a large number of blogs, all of which are dedicated to a healthier eating lifestyle. I underline the word lifestyle, because it truly does become part of your life. I read at least one healthy eating blog a day. I’m forever learning new recipes, ingredients and ways of cooking that will hopefully help me put a healthy plate of food at the family dinner table.  

Some of you may ask: But why are you so concerned with eating? You seem healthy, you’re not overweight. I think the answer is probably the same one any one of the bloggers I read would give—it was not a want but rather a need. Once I was aware of some of the preservatives and additives in some of our packaged food, it became harder and harder for me to turn my back and plead ignorance. Of course, I’m not a scientist and no one will probably ever crack the code for what exactly you have to eat to be at your optimal best. But why not, try to cook at home where you can at least control some of the extra ingredients that do not have to go into your food and then your body. So cooking has evolved for me, from something I dabbled in whenever I had to take a dish to a party, to something that is part of who I am.  I’m not an excellent cook by any means. I’m just a mom, trying to eat healthier and get my children and husband to do the same. I know many excellent cooks and truly admire their innate talent. While I still use my measuring cups and spoons religiously, they’re out there using the palm of their hand to measure a teaspoon of salt and have no problem throwing an extra pinch of this or that. Someday, someday I hope to be there too! For now, I’ll settle for a smile and thumbs up from my kiddos after cooking a healthy meal.

 

 

My month-long challenge

The goal to eat healthy meals has been a long-standing one for my family. Both my husband and I are aware of the extra calories, chemicals, salt, sugar and preservatives added to some of the foods served at restaurants. This month however, I’m putting my foot down and actually making myself accountable, to you all, to commit to a long-term, full month of healthy, home-cooked meals. We typically eat pretty healthy, but there’s always the desire to eat better. Especially, after we’ve eaten cheeseburgers and fries followed by a full-size milk shake. Or, after eating chocolate chip cookies.

The rule is that I will cook breakfast, lunch and dinner at home. The kids of course, will have their packed lunches, with the exception of the princess who still considers it a treat to eat a cafeteria lunch once a week. Hubby will take leftovers, fruits and chopped up veggies, the exception will be mandatory work lunches—which believe it or not, are mandatory in his particular job. Peanut and I will eat at home. Chic Fil-A, Sonic and Starbucks are banned from our eating lists, as well as any other restaurant and fast-food place.  The only exception will be dinner invitations to friends’ homes. When we do eat at friends’, we will stick to whole foods rather than pre-packed meals, etc.

I will be incorporating a few more veggies into dinners than I typically do in order to boost nutrition. I will also try to have one meatless meal and one with fish or other type of seafood. With the exception of the occasional frozen or canned vegetable or fruit, frozen foods are not allowed. Sorry DiGiornio pizzas—not that I am used to eating these—I will not be purchasing you. I do buy some canned artichokes and sometimes beets to add to my salads so these types of foods will be part of the meals. Pastas and uncooked, whole-grain rice will also be allowed.

Now here’s the accountability part. I will be posting a picture of dinner every day on Facebook and on the blog. I’m very excited about the prospect of eliminating all fast-food for a month. We don’t do it often, but going to Chic Fil-A is considered a treat by the kids. I would like them to understand that fast-food is not necessary and that there are other ways to treat yourself that don’t involve a milk shake and French fries.

 

Disappointment

There's a song with that title by the 90's group, The Cranberries. I'm dating myself, but I totally loved the Cranberries and still do. Dealing with dissapointment is where I'm at right now in life. It's ironic, because in the grand scheme, my life is wonderful. But yes, just like everyone else, there are moments, expectations and even people that can cause disappointment. Ironic also, that I deal with getting over dissapoinment every day with my children. It's a constant. I use so many techniques--there's the distraction -- but look at this instead! There's a promise of a better thing or activity. There's explaining that what they are disappointed about is really not worth their energy --there's so much else to be grateful for!!
It's harder to try these techniques and for them to be effective and, more importantly, long lasting on myself. Ha! I'm not a genius, just a mom. Dealing with disappointment is probably God's way of teaching us so many lessons--humbleness comes first to mind. There are so many feelings that come with it too--anger, sadness, self-doubt, it can go on and on. I'm realizing that those feelings are so real, so raw at times, that it's ok to feel them; it's ok to feel human and acknowledge these feelings. Yesterday, in the middle of my own pity party, full of tears, angry and lying in bed experiencing all these emotions and also trying to stop them or rationalize them, I realized that it's ok for me to feel them. To let them come and then to let them go. Let the tears flow. It's a way of getting in touch with something very human, that's part of me. Perhaps one day I'll transcend these feelings, when disappointment occurs. Maybe even, disappointment will be something so small to me because there will be grander things--who knows--with age comes wisdom and many other virtues. For now, I'm dealing with the dissappointment and trying those techniques I use with my children. Getting up and dusting my pants and grabbing a pair of sneakers to go for a run instead. It's also giving me a little extra fuel, because after dealing with dissappointment, you're a little tired, but once that goes away, you're also energized by some of those same feelings of anger that you felt before. So in a way, dissappointment is a low but usually one that goes away gradually. Once you come out of those emotions--there are definite highs.

Spring is here

Spring is here. In my neck of the woods it is warm and rainy sometimes. But the birds are chirping, flowers have already budded and some blossomed. It is gorgeous and I consider myself very fortunate to live here. My kids are also enjoying the outdoors, and it is my hubbie and my desire to get them out into nature every day this spring and summer (even on rainy days)--that's what raincoats and rainboots are for!
Spring for me is also a time for cleaning. Physically, mentally, spiritually. It's been hectic so I haven't been able to do a lot of religious things here at home or at church. I'm hoping after Emma's birthday we can have more time for the religious. One of the things I'll be doing is reading a little more about John Paul II--whether you're Catholic or not--a great man, who accomplished a lot in a very little time.

Loyalty

I read a quote on Pinterest that grabbed my attention. Respect is earned. Honesty is Appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is Returned. Loyalty. Something which I consider to have and to be -- loyal. This week felt like in many parts of my life--those who I considered loyal were not. Interesting though that sometimes people who you least expect to be loyal, become so out of pure circumstances and sometimes, for their own interest. So maybe this isn't the true description of loyalty--maybe it's convenience or fear that drives people to betray someone else's trust.

This week also reminded of when I am at my best. On the recovery after a blow to my psyche or my morale. It's that instant that you realize you have to get up, that self pity is not an option, that there is hope, and that honestly: life is GOOD, by God, life is sooo Good! Even when it's bad, there's almost always hope. In my life, I'm lucky enough to be blessed with many wonderful people and with good health. So all the other things, are really trivial and hopefully in the end a reminder to me that I have been dealt a very easy hand in life. Today I went running, and it felt good. Getting up at 6:30 to run felt good. It's the hard work and knowing that you are doing hard work and capable of it that feels good. So today, I am so happy. Happy to be at a place where I realize how good life is. How the trials and tribulations in life are really a sign from God to appreciate the great moments, the wonderful people, the beauty of nature--these were all giving to us by God to inspire us and to give us hope.

Today, I'm grateful for that 6:30 am run and for a husband who watched the kids while I took time for myself. Tomorrow when I'm running with the children, I'll be grateful that I have a stroller that can push them and two healthy kids that I can take running with me. I'm grateful that I have time to write this, from the comfort of my home. I'm thankful for the two hours of silence while the baby sleeps. I'm thankful for my mid-afternoon cup of decaf. Out of that realization also comes another one. That I have to give back, that I have to be more charitable. There are others that are not as fortunate and that is where the time should go to. And also, that I may not get a thanks everytime. And that those acts of charity have to be done as selflessly as possible. Every day I hope that I can remember this and that I can put my energy in the right things.

Learning to Let Go--At Least a Little Bit

It's a been a tough 2 1/2 months. We've had a bout of pink eye that hit two kids and myself. Then the inevitable cold and cough just about 3 weeks ago. We're hopefully on the end of this sickness. In the meantime, my weight has been dropping, I'm now at 104 lbs. Not intentionally. I'm concerned as to why I'm losing so much weight. The doctors cannot find anything wrong, my first three exams all tested normal for thyroid, anemia and blood sugars. I've been told to eat more--and so I am trying to do that. I may just add a bottle of Ensure to my lunch or as a snack to help me out. My clothes are really loose and not a very flattering picture. And so, here I am trying to see what's at the root of all this. I'm trying to not stress, since I think stress is what is affecting my health in the first place.

Today I saw the neighbors' kids riding their bikes all on their own. No sign of the parents anywhere. I'm sure the mom was keeping tabs on them from a window once in a while. They just learned to ride their bikes two days ago. Sure, the neighborhood is a safe place and we live on a circle, not a busy street at all. I wonder if I would have the courage and self-control to let go of my kids and let them ride their bikes on their own when the time comes. I'm not commenting this to chide the mom.  I actually admire her. She is a smart mom--taking it all in stride. She's also a mom of three and busy as heck. So she lets go sometimes, that's how she keeps balance and sanity. That's how kids grow up and learn. They may fall, they may bump into things (hopefully not a car), but they're in they're neighborhood--really they only ride about three houses down. They have a set of rules they follow--for the most part. So my goal is to let go of things a little bit. So that my kids can learn. So that I can have time for myself. So that life is less stressful. Sometimes chaotic but I can't pretend that everything is packaged up and neat all the time. Life is messy. Life is a beautiful mess! Today at mass I asked for enlightenment, for hope, for strength. For clarity--really. Clarity to see things for what they are, to not let my emotions get the best of me. For strength and energy to keep up with this beautiful, chaotic, messy life that I have. It's full, it's rich, it's intense. For the discipline to let go of things, of my kids, a little bit.  And that's what I'm going to try to do. Sometimes I long for the quietness my life was before getting married and before kids. And then I look back and remember how lonely I felt and how I at that time asked for things to fill up my time, my space, my heart, my life. And I have what I want. I just have to know how to handle it all, how to keep myself, me and how to still be in the thick of it with my kids, my husband. I envy the moms that have realized this perfect "imperfect" balance of their lives. They look more rested, fuller, happier than what I think I am. I hope to be one of those moms, sooner rather than latter.

Xo,
Vanessa

Before the thoughts evade me

We're in the middle of a polar vortex that's hit most of the United States. The words seem so gloomy. It is awfully cold, even here in the south. But today, in the middle of this polar vortex, in the middle of what is and has been a chaotic life for the past 3 1/2 years--it hit me. The exact moment was when I was nursing my youngest, my now 8 month-old daughter. She was nursing and falling asleep, beautiful eyes closed, her long eyelashes hitting her cheeks. She was so calm, so perfect. It then hit me: how luck I am to be a part of this moment with her. How many moms don't have the privilege to be nursing their young ones, in the comfort of their home, warm when everything else seems so cold and uninviting. I held her for a few minutes longer, nuzzled against her. Really I was silently thanking her for letting me be with her. I also thanked God for letting me realize what the true gifts in life are. I've been asking for wisdom,  for strength, for patience, for patience, for patience. How many moms don't have the time in their daily chaotic life to realize what precious gifts children give to us in their moments of silence, of sillyness, of brilliance. We live such distracted lives--multi-tasking from one moment to the next. Having to keep a balance between it all. I actually got another present not too long after I put my baby girl to sleep. I went into our kitchen where my middle child was rolling out play-dough shapes. I sat down next to him--dedicated a whole 20 minutes of my time to rolling out play-dough stars. He counted them, 13 of them all!! He counted to 13 all by himself. How wonderful, it's a progress from a little boy who is usually so busy running around dressed up as a superhero. This was his moment of calm, our moment together as mother and son--a quiet time in the middle of this polar vortex. So here I am writting this post, while my baby sleeps and my son eats his peanut butter pretzels. I'll cut it short for now, more thoughts on the great gift of motherhood later. But I wanted to share this with other moms. Motherhood just like most things in life are a series of pieces that have to be fitted correctly in order to solve the puzzle. It's a big one, what truly is the best way to be a mother? A rhetorical question of course, but there are certain things that are better than others. Taking the time to be still with our children is probably something that is underrated, it's importance overlooked by many in our society of overachievers. Thank you Lord for giving me this gift in the beginning of the year when I'm making some decisions about parenting. I promise to cherish these moments of togetherness with my children, I will try not to brush them aside with my To Do list or my appointments. Now I'm headed back to play superhero with my son.