Happy

I watched a documentary on Happiness a few days ago. Yes, it was late at night and I was tired and couldn't find anything else to watch. But it actually turned out to be fairly refreshing to watch this documentary.

In this documentary, researchers found that after people's basic necessities are met (i.e. food, shelter, medicine) humans are not necessarily happier by having more things or acquiring more wealth and power. I have always felt this way, and try to live my life simply--or what I like to think is fairly simple.

So what things do we need for happiness? One of the things mentioned was finding "flow" or a level of concentration and ability where you feel accomplished. They found this in athletes performing at their peak, chefs just enjoying cooking food, artists and so on. It did not matter to the individual the amount of money they were paid or the recognition they were getting--they simply enjoyed doing this particular passion at a very high level.

Two other things they found made people feel happy was a sense of service to others--caring for others. Again, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. Caring for others helps individuals focus on something other than themselves, researchers found. Another factor that helps is having close friendships and family--even if it is not 100% peaceful.

One last factor mentioned was accepting certain circumstances that are beyond your control--for example a traumatic accident or experience.

They gave a telling example of what has been happening in Japan for the last decade or so. It is a growing number of Japanese men and women literally working themselves to death--"karoshi". It was mind boggling to me that someone could actually do this--but then again, we all know those people who work and do not live a very balanced lifestyle, have little time for friends or family, or for their personal health and spiritual well-being.

Okinawa, Japan surprisingly has the longest-living population. They credit this to many factors including finding "flow", close-knit communities and interaction across all generations--from the youngest to oldest. One of the most fulfilling times in my life was living in a community with people from all ages. I lived in a subdivision that was half retirees and half people with teenagers or younger kids. It was magic. The retirees were beautiful people who were happy and generally welcomed everyone into the community. I still remember walking with my children to the little table were they would gather to talk. They welcomed me and the kids so open-heartedly, I always left that table with a skip in my step and a light heart. I couldn't help feeling a little selfish because I knew me and my children were having this wonderful interaction with these people who truly had a lot to give and share. It made me a little sad to think that some people push their own grandparents or parents aside because they don't have time for them.

Compassion and acts of kindness was another factor that gave people happiness. Whether it's shoveling snow for a neighbor or the deepest dedication to the poor and sick, in the likes of Mother Theresa.

I couldn't help but think watching this documentary, that the people in the film who were happy, were not some super powerful, extremely attractive or wealthy people. They were blessed with what we truly blindly seek in material things: happiness. And what's great is that happiness is attainable, it doesn't just happen, we have to practice this by seeking what truly is genuinely us. Is it finding that "flow", giving to others, taking care of others--it might even be a mixture of things.

There are other factors that probably contribute to a fulfilling life--spirituality being one of them. The researchers in this documentary did not talk about religion or spirituality, but it truly is very important to believe in something greater than yourself.

So is happiness truly the key to life--the ultimate goal that one should strive for. Should I abandon everything and surf all the great waves? I don't think it's quite as simple as that--at least not for the majority of us. There are responsibilities to us, to others, to the community at large. And sometimes, in those responsibilities, you can find great fulfillment and satisfaction. But there is something novel in the idea of trying to get back to the core of what life should really be about--happiness being a key ingredient.

The other way to look at happiness is as a skill set--that if mastered or practiced effectively, can really lead to a more satisfying life. After all, wouldn't we want to carry out most of our days with joy instead of sadness and despair? I've always envied those people, strangers out on the street or the coffee shop, that seem to have a certain twinkle in their eye and genuinely seem very happy. It's not because they are fulfilled in every level, I'm sure, it's because they're practicing being happy. They are probably trying to master this skill set.

I have this goal for 2016, to practice being happy. Not easy at times, but truly, laughter, smiles and a skip in your step sound far more appealing to me than tears and frowns on my face. The way I look at it, would I rather get my wrinkles from laughter than from frowning all the time.