A New Beginning

Today, right now, in this moment I am excited and a little afraid. The better word is not afraid but very aware and sobered. I write of this, because for the very first time I am at home with more than 3 hours of my own. The kids are all at school until the afternoon. There are no pressures at home, no urgent errands or calls that I have to make. I have finally pencilled (and this time with ink :)) time completely for me.

I have been writing for a long time, for the need to establish a balance between being a mother and wife and being true to myself as the, now "relatively" young, woman that I am. My goals and dreams have been written out and it is completely and absolutely up to me to realize them. If there are things or people standing in my way, they can be easily overcome. I am sobered because I know the time is right now. There is no better time and will not be a better time. Kind of like fruit that is ripe for the picking. I have traveled a long way to get to this point and I am excited that I am finally here.

At first, I was scared of putting myself first when the children were so little and dependent on me. Now, they are sometimes dependent, but I have seen them grow and flourish. Now, I feel they are calling me to step up--to my full potential, so that I can share in this life with them. I am no longer needing of showers or naps to recover from late nights or early mornings were I need to nurse or tend to a sick child. Yes, sometimes, we still have accidents and need to take care of our kids, but those are far and few between. And I also have all the energy and my dreams intact, I feel that my mind has settled somewhat but is still very curious and willing to learn new things.

I don't write this to brag or boast of where I'm at. I write to encourage other moms that if you're in this point of life, you have to grab it now. To those that are still with little ones at home, you may find that there are moments where you can grab time for yourself. If you can't, don't despair, there will be a time in the near future. Meanwhile, hang on to your dreams and your goals. Do not let them go. And if you're still discovering what those are, keep searching until you find them. I personally, have always loved to write. And my life, has always led me there. No matter when or where, this is what I truly love and one of the things I am meant to do.